


Catfishing

by RamblesandDragons



Series: Monster Falls [7]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Monster Falls (Gravity Falls), Ford Pines and Mabel Pines Bonding, Forduary 2021, Gen, The title is dumb but I laughed too hard when I thought of it to not use it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29564202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamblesandDragons/pseuds/RamblesandDragons
Summary: Ford and Mabel spend a day on the lake looking for clues to a cure to their curse. There is no such thing as a normal day out of the Pines family though.
Relationships: Ford Pines & Mabel Pines
Series: Monster Falls [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1750264
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	Catfishing

**Author's Note:**

> The week four theme of [Forduary](https://forduary.tumblr.com/) lined up perfectly with a little fun story I've been wanting to write for awhile. This takes place in my version of Monster Falls but you don't have to have read all of it for this to make sense. Just know Ford's already been through some character development. 
> 
> Thank you again to my wonderful beta reader [Alverann!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alverrann/pseuds/Alverrann)

Ford had been looking forward to this for a while. For the first time - maybe ever - the chance at researching an aspect to the weirdness of Gravity Falls  _ wasn’t  _ the thing he was most excited about. Mabel was coming along on this trip. It had taken him far longer than it should have for him to realize  that being with family was the best thing in the multiverse, but the lesson had at last stuck. 

He was grateful that Mabel still wanted to even be around him considering the worry he had so recently put her through. Excluding her from the apprenticeship offer had not been out of dislike of his niece (in fact, he loved the little mermaid lazily floating next to the boat). It was something he regretted, though, and was currently trying his best to make up for. 

“ Grunkle Ford,  whatcha thinking?” Mabel asked.

Ford craned his head over the side of the boat they had borrowed from Stan and smiled down at her. 

“How happy I am to have you along with me today.”

“Really? I thought it would be some nerd thing.” Ford chuckled but frowned as Mabel’s face drooped a bit.

“I know I’m not as into all off this stuff like Dipper is, but I’m happy to be here too.”

It seemed that Ford had a lot more making up to do. He paused for a moment thinking out his words carefully. “An adventure on the lake is something you’re very well adapted to help with. I also think your creative viewpoints can come in handy, and I enjoy them quite a bit. However, that’s not the main reason I want you here. I want to spend time with you.”

Mabel beamed and Ford returned the smile with his own fang-filled grin. After consulting a map, he led them over to a small island in the middle of the lake, one of the few he’d never had a chance to explore. Hopping onto land he scanned the small island beach then turned to Mabel. 

“You do a quick swim around the island while I search the middle of it. Keep an eye out for anything that seems to be out of place or magical. If you run into anything, poke your head out and call for me.”

Mabel saluted and dove into the water with a flourish while Ford walked towards the trees. It wouldn’t take them very long to explore this one, it was only half a mile long. The pine trees were thick in the middle and the sphinx had to weave around a few of them. Even though it was midday a fine mist still covered the area of the lake, obscuring his vision a bit. His ears twitched as he listened for signs of life. After a few minutes it seemed like this small island was a dud for anything except driftwood and rocks. Ford grumbled about the mist and considered heading back home and returning another day when it was clearer. Perhaps Mabel would enjoy … watching a movie? When was the last time he had just sat to watch one?

  
Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice the thin line his swishing tail caught onto near the ground. The slight tug was enough to trigger whatever the trap had been laid and suddenly a rope tightened around his boot. He yelped and surprise as his body was pulled up.

“Mabel!” Was all he was able to get out before the momentum of his body sent him bobbing up and then down way too hard and fast. A metallic clang rang out as his head collided with earth. His world went instantly black. 

...

“ Whatcha think it is? A mountain lion?”

“Now what kind of mountain lion has feathers. I told you something was up in Gravity Falls. Those folks are weird!”

Ford’s eyes shot open. He found himself face down on a wet hard floor. From the sounds of water and what he guessed was a small engine it was easy to tell he was on a boat. Shifting slightly the sphinx found it hard to move. Trying in earnest to stand he realized his body wrapped in something. Dread washed over him. He was caught up in heavy netting. It was tangled from his boots to his claws and his wings were in the worst of it. He would definitely need to preen them after this. 

Looking around a surge of relief drowned out the dread as he realized there was no sign of his niece having been caught. The only thing he could see was the deck of a small boat and his two captor's chit-chatting. They were wholly human, so they had to be from outside the Gravity Falls area. 

“I thought you were crazy for setting a trap out in the middle of nowhere, Honey, but you were right! I mean it might not be a lake monster, but it’s something- look, Honey, it’s waking up!”

The captive turned as much as he could to face his captors. It was a man and a woman. The woman was wearing a  garish pink tracksuit that he was certain even Mabel would take offense to with hair that reminded him a bit of how his mother styled her hair. The man was in a simple T-shirt and jeans with a dirty trucker hat on his head. Both were staring at him in wonder. His arm was too twisted to reach his gun but maybe he could reason with them.

"Hello."

"Holy smokes, it can  _ talk _ !" The woman squealed . Ford flinched.

"Yes. In fact, I can do many things. I think there’s been a misunderstanding. You see this is a costume...”   


“Costume my ass pal. We dragged your tail into the boat. That’s no  costume.  We caught ourselves some proof that Gravity Falls is weirder than it seems. Now everyone might listen to me!" The man puffed out his chest as he spoke.

Ford grimaced. He could sadly relate. The want to understand and to be understood had driven him those many years ago. He had captured more than his fair share of anomalies in his attempt to research them. He did let them go afterwards, of course (except for Shifty … he may also owe a gnome an apology, come to think of it). Since then, he had spent too much time captured and studied himself to want to do that anymore. He made a promise to himself to be better about that with subjects in the future, if they didn't try and eat him first.

"So, you're a fellow enthusiast of the strange and unexplained? Despite my appearance I am too! If you let me go, we can have a civil discussion about this. The study of the supernatural can be a very fulfilling subject and I would be more than happy to-"

The man and woman  interrupted him with a fit of laughter.

"We don't care about any of all that. We're planning on something a little more … monetarily viable," the man said trying to word it carefully. "You know that Mystery Shack?"

"More than you realize," Ford said with a sigh.

" We're going to start our  own, but we'll have real displays and not fakes  like that con  man's got. People can see real monsters!" The woman said with glee.

Ford bristled. "You can't just lock anomalies up in cages! Many of them have human-level intelligence and even those who don't deserve more respect than that. They're best observed in their natural habitat!" 

"Habitat  shma-bitat . Can't make any good money that way!" The man said with a laugh.

“And yet you were the one hunting a lake monster on land with a rope snare.”   


“Yep.”   


Ford had never been so grateful for incompetence. At least everyone would be safe from these idiots. What that said about his competence, on the other hand, was not something he wanted to think about. Being home had perhaps lowered his guard too much.

Frustrated, the sphinx let out a small growl. _Money_. He wasn't a perfect person, but money had never been his motivator. He wanted to be recognized and respected, but the money he couldn’t care less about. 

It was  _ Pa  _ who had wanted money. Even going back to the lost scholarship for West Tech- … it hadn't  _ been  _ about losing the money to Ford. It had been about losing the chance and opportunities! 

And as for the Mystery Shack, well … the scientist in him still didn't like it. Perhaps the idea was begrudgingly growing on him, but at least his brother hadn't captured the local anomalies and put them on display! Sure, Stan would argue that doing all of that was a hassle and people didn't want to see real stuff, but you don't live here for 30 years and not feel a little bit for the creatures just trying to live their lives. His brother was a softer person than he would ever admit to being.

There was probably no reasoning with these two. They were chasing money and would put Ford (and probably the rest of his family) in a cage if given that chance. He had to escape! Luckily, they seemed under-prepared for any sort of monster hunt. They hadn’t put him under in any way or paralyzed him beyond the netting. He was certainly glad that Mabel had avoided capture. She was hopefully far away getting some sort of  hel \- 

" Psst !  Grunkle Ford!" 

Something Ford was learning was that his  nibblings were a ridiculously brave. Ford wiggled to face the direction Mabel's voice had come from. His captors where currently preoccupied by discussing where to put their next trap. 

"Mabel. You need to get out of here. Go and get some help," he ordered quietly.

“ Grunkle Ford, how am I supposed to do that if I can't run anywhere?"

"Good point."

"Just trust me. Here use this to get out of the net."

There was a clattering noise on the deck. Ford made a loud coughing noise and flopped a bit in the net to not arouse suspicion. He felt ridiculously like a fish. After his captors looked away the sphinx wiggled to reach what Mabel had thrown on board. He was shocked to discover it was a large, serrated hunting knife.

"Mabel where on earth did you find  _ this _ ?" He hissed. 

"At the bottom of the lake. Anyway, I'm going to make a distraction. See you in a minute!" Ford heard a splash before he had the chance to object. Mabel was putting herself at great risk to save him - just as Dipper had a few weeks ago. He had no idea why they thought him worthy of such actions.  _ He  _ certainly didn't think he was. 

Pushing that away for later he began to cut through the thick netting as quickly as possible, making a mental note to clean all their fingerprints from the knife once this was over with.

A few slices in and Ford heard what sounded like humming coming from over the water. It started off soft and then grew louder until it almost drowned out the motor of the boat. 

“Tina, what is that sound?” The man asked, looking around.

“ Oh, look over there on that rock!” The woman pointed and the man guided the boat over.

_ “You’ll put all your focus on me, I can grant your wish you will see,  _ _ come _ _ over to talk but please don’t  _ _ gawk _ _. My  _ _ grunkle _ _ you will not take for I’m the mermaid of the lake!” _ __

Despite how serious this was Ford couldn’t help but chuckle at Mabel’s lyrics. The tune sounded familiar – maybe a pop he had heard on the radio many, many years ago before leaving this dimension. The boat drifted to a slow stop and he began to finally make some headway of the heavy net.

“Kevin, we’ve hit a gold mine today.” The woman said in a gleeful whisper. She leaned forward and waved to Mabel, her voice turning sickly sweet. “Well, hi there, little mermaid! It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

“Hello ma’am. As my song said I’m here to grant a wish.”

“Wishes, huh? Now how does that work?” The man asked. 

“Well, you tell me your heart’s desire and I’ll make it come true! With a 24-hour processing time of course.” Whether Stan had been a terrible or wonderful influence on the girl Ford couldn’t decide, and he began to untangle his wings.

“Well, little miss,” the man began, “what my wife and I desire most it to take you back to our place and put you in a pretty tank. You’ll make us a  _ ton  _ of money. Honey, get the net.”

“No thanks! I’m a free-range mermaid!” 

Finally free, Ford stood to his full height, wings spread wide, and teeth bared, and just as the man reached out to grab Mabel from her rock perch Ford snarled and grabbed him by the collar. He did the same to the woman and held them aloft over the water. 

“ _ You will not  _ _ touch  _ _ her _ .” He said, low and dangerous. The couple stared back wide eyed. 

“People like you drive me crazy. Profit over science. Over _decency_. So, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to forget any of this ever happened, remove any more of the traps you have around the area, and if you come within the town limits again, I will know, and _you will regret it_.” He began to wonder if he needed to start carrying that memory gun around. No. That would lead to more trouble if it fell into the wrong hands. Intimidation would have to work, and Ford had at least learned how to do that in his travels. 

“H-How will you know?” The man was trying to be defiant and failing miserably. 

“I’m a sphinx. I know these things.” He said within an inch of man’s face. His response was to gulp and nod.

“W- we’ll just take our boat a- and leave,” he said quietly.

Ford glanced over to Mabel. Maybe she could see the  mischief in his eyes because she  began to giggle. 

“Well, you’ve taken us far from our home. I think we could use a way back.”

“You’re going to steal our boat?!” The woman cried, outraged. Ford could not help himself at this point. 

“Solve my riddle and you get to keep your boat. _What is seen in the middle of March and April that can’t be seen at the beginning or end of either month_?”

“ Uhhhhhhh , a flower?”

“ Ohhh , that’s a good one.”

Ford dropped the two of them into water. He then reached out and placed Mabel into the boat.

“Oh, I know. The letter ‘R!’” Mabel said.

“Correct, dear.” 

They left their captors sputtering in frustration and eventually having to swim the last few yards to shore. Ford and Mabel happily hummed a song as they headed back to the Gravity Falls side of the lake. After a little bit if guilting from Mabel they left the boat in an easy to find place near where Ford had been caught so that the couple could be reunited with it eventually. Of course, Ford left a threating note as a reminder before they made it back to Stan’s boat. After cleaning the knife and chucking it back into the lake they made their way back to the pier. 

“I’m glad those two weren’t competent in any real way. We could have been in real trouble. Stan is quite worried about poachers and I think he’s right to be.”

“Don’t worry about it,  Grunkle Ford. If any trouble shows up, I bet you two can handle it. You’re the scariest and  awesom-est monsters around!”

“Thank you, dear, and … thank you for saving me.”

“Oh, hey, you’re learning!” Mabel snarked.

Ford chuckled, “Yes, yes. My pride might be slightly wounded, though. Saved by a preteen twice in the same month. Do you think we could keep this little incident between the two of us?”

“Hmmm … only if you buy me a triple scoop at the ice-cream place!” 

Ford full-on laughed at that. Stan had indeed been a terrible influence on these children, but really Ford probably wasn't that much better. Oh well.  As long as the children wanted him to be around, he would be . 


End file.
